The Ball has now returned back to England, but we’re not done with it quite yet – this site will continue to develop even though there’s no more Cup. As well as the continuing saga on video, there will be flashbacks to times we didn’t manage to write about, more on the real story of how football left home, and some extra eyecandy for you all. With a bit of luck, we’ll keep this site growing and changing until The Ball 2006 leaves for Germany in just under four years time.

World Cup 2002 RIP.

World Cup 2006 here we come: a new blog and another plan for a trip.

Roll on 2006!

The Videos

I’ve added a video page to the site where you can find all the videos that are currently online and interspersed among the stories. Now you can browse the story more conveniently from a single page.

A fast connection (ie, faster than a modem) is recommended if you don’t want to have to go and make a cup of tea each time you click a link. You’ll also need a recent version of Quicktime to view the videos, although a direct link to the file is provided if you want to watch it through another viewer.

Some of the videos were edited during the trip by Monika at Alles ist Moglich! in Berlin, who has been a star for putting up with our dodgy logging and for wading through the endless rushes. Thanks, Monika…

And so, at last, we blow the the final whistle, only to find that it may be the start of something new…

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Homeward bound…

Well, we eventually touched down in Paris, where we were met by a driver from Kirker Travel, who kindly donated Eurostar tickets for the two of us to get back to Ashford (where we’re to be picked up by Ben and hopefully driven straight to the nearest pub for a pint of proper ale). Rather sweetly, the driver was waiting with the following sign as we walked out of the arrivals gate…

Wake / Wach

In the beginning was the Whistle. In this World Cup year, it sounded for me in Battersea Park on the first day of Spring. I had prepared myself for the quest in London, knowing that I would be travelling far from by birthplace, but now that I was in motion, the momentum was starting to build around me.


The Ball crosses the Prime Meridian

At Greenwich, my presence was ill-received by the Custodians of The Line. “It is more than my Sacred Duty is worth,” one of their number warned me. “You must have the Written Word of the One in Authority.” Nonetheless, I crossed secretively from west to east, for I was drawn by the gravity of my task, and they were not vigilant.

The Ball leaves the UK

I picked up speed rapidly in Brighton, and by the night of the Full Moon was rolling ever faster through the Kentish countryside to greet the Channel at dawn. I reached escape velocity at the white cliffs of Dover, flew low over the 22 miles of water, and, with a single bounce on the beach at Calais, proceeded to Ypres for my first official engagement.

The Ball finds the field in Flanders

As the Guardians of the Documentation returned me to 1914, I rolled to a rest on the ground where, on the Christmas Day of that year, German and British troops on the battlefield had made time for me. A German soldier had raised a christmas tree above the parapet of his trench, and, in the ensuing truce, I was kicked around Nomansland until the Germans won 3-2. Bitterly disappointed at the outcome, the British asked me to return on Boxing Day, but a new outbreak of fighting banished my presence forever.

The Ball remembers

I retired injured to Amsterdam, and immediately sought solace in the local customs, hoping to ease the pain of my rejection from the field of war. In a manner which befits the dignity of my progress, I shall keep my own counsel on this matter.

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Kick off to Korea

The captains get the game going

Surely not since Hampden in 1960 has a crowd been privileged to see such an exhilarating game of football. Played on a surface that was always going to hamper the graceful artistry of the teams, in a difficult wind creating tricky moustache adhesion problems, with an enthusiastic and partisan crowd, it was no surprise that the first half ended goalless after a nervous start by both sides.

Sir Tom “The Tash” Tommy Thomas

This couldn’t have been better exemplified than by the rash handball in the area by the Darks and the Light captain hoofing the resultant penalty high over the bar. The nervousness and breakneck pace at which the half was played was so compelling though, that there seemed only to have been 15 minutes gone when the referee blew for half-time and a well earned gasper.

The MIB

Steadied by the interval, the Darks started the second half the stronger of the two teams, their recent and talented volunteers, plucked from the crowd at the beginning, combining nicely to trouble the Light ‘keeper on several occasions before finally going 1-0 up ten minutes after the restart. Stung by this, Lights came back with a powerfully headed equaliser after some good work down the right. Although the game was hotting up, the players remained true to the ideals of the game and the referee only had to speak to one player to stop him asking if everyone had colour co-ordinated their underwear.

What no-one expected next though, was that the game was shortly to be illuminated by a goal of the rarest quality. Seemingly stuck out on the left wing by the corner flag with nowhere to go and little support arriving, the Dark captain, sensing that the ‘keeper was fractionally out of position, curled a magnificent shot into the top right corner of the goal.

A goal down now and suffering moustache problems, the Lights seemed swamped by a rampant Dark team, who sought to press home their advantage. They did this when the captain scored again in a goalmouth scramble a few minutes later. At this point a lesser team would have folded, and, if it hadn’t been for the 18 minutes injury time played, perhaps the Lights would have too.

The Infamous Battersea Park Fouler about to get his name

The Infamous Battersea Park Fouler’s destiny is decided

It took another handball, with the same offender this time being dismissed, and a much more confidently struck penalty, to set the game up for a nail-biting finish. Lights, reinvigorated, started to play the more fluid game, with a nice exchange down the right leading to a volley that shaved the crossbar. Then at the very death they finally equalised to take the game to extra time.

After such a reprieve, it was a surprise when Darks retook the lead early on with a tremendous strike off his arse by one of the frontmen. But it was only a flash in the pan, and the Lights superiority began to show through and they went on to score three unanswered goals despite the Darks bringing on a very talented dog. The dog was asked to leave after it became apparent that she had more pace, vision, talent and commitment than had previously been on display.

The teams

As the final whistle blew, the traditional moustache swapping took place and both teams retired to the Prince Albert for a skinful.

We were featured twice on ITV News yesterday – first at lunchtime, then again in the early evening slot on London Tonight. Only two mistakes in the report… probably quite normal…

Phil being interviewed

Chris being interviewed

The Light Shirts played the Dark Shirts in a hard fought encounter on a sunny afternoon in Battersea Park. Final score was Lights 6, Darks 4. These are some pics taken by Caz that capture some of the elation and despair of this 10-goal thriller. Read the match report here.

2 goals and a constant threat – Chris’s physics-defying second goal curling in from the byline had to be the moment of the afternoon

Lights star Sir Tom “Tommy” Thomas gave a breathtaking display of old skool skill, but the warm spring sunshine on his moustache wax reduced his effectiveness in the second half.

The Darks survived many goal mouth scrambles, but in the end, confusion over who was actually in goal cost them a penalty ably converted by Phil.

Lights keeper and Moet & Chandon Man of the Match Ben marred a gritty performance between the sticks with some suicidal ball distribution.

Pitch 2 in the middle of Battersea Park

See the map at the foot of this page

This Sunday, March 24th 2002

Kick Off 2pm

We will be playing football in Battersea Park in honour of the first ever game under FA rules, which took place in 1864 and the ball we take to the Opening Ceremony will be kicked for the first time. ANYONE is welcome, however good or bad you are, wherever you come from and whichever sex you belong to. So come on down and watch or play. If you want to play please get to the pitch 1.30pm. We are hoping to get hold of 22 old style strips but in case we don’t, please bring along a dark and a light coloured shirt with your oldest looking shorts, we’ll pick teams, however big (playing a tag substitute system) and kick off at 2pm. No rules first half and then a referee for the second! See you there. If it looks like rain… bring an umbrella!

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Of course football has been played for years. The Chinese have been playing for two thousand years… and for a few hundred here in Britain, there have been marauding games down high streets, between villages and anywhere there was room for a mob and a ball.

The Football Association itself grew from a small group of players who, tired of the broken arms, endless arguments (not to mention endless pitches) drew up some rules to level the stakes. The evening of that first game, they made this toast- “Success to Football, irrespective of class and creed”. We will be adding “sex” and “talent” to the list, and generally getting right into this footballing occasion.

So the game in Battersea Park will honour the FA and mark the start of our journey to the World Cup, the very pinnacle of footballing excellence. Just grab your footballs and join in at the other end of the scale.

After all is done, football will remain.

Loads more to come from here when we leave on the 28th of March. All we need to make this link to you is an internet cafe to simply upload new content.

*BIG* shout to *Noah Grey*, he wrote and allows anyone to use this Greymatter software. [NOTE: when the site was first revamped, we changed to using Movable Type, then discovered that the comment-spammers had thoroughly compromised it... so we've changed again to WordPress]

’til next time